Eurovision 2023
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It’s like Bobby Brown without the coke.
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Norway taking a moment to promote safety on your pretentious E-scooter
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Ok, so Norway have basically sent Epica and this is my jam.
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A cape. Always worth points in my book.
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This could, and should go Nightwish any second.
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Or EBM Nightwish I guess?
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She chose violence.
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Asgard is missing a corset
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Jeez, someone just nicked her cloak. I know Liverpool is rough, but you’d think the stadium would be safe.
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My namesake, would love the dress.
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Disney+ need to bring back Willow just so they can use this song.
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That was pretty good. Again pandering to my tastes but I’m not complaining.
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That needed something like a little person with a flute to elevate to proper Eurovison banger. So close but missed the mark
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Ow yeah, here we go. The one band I knew about going into this.
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Opening credits to half remembered cartoon about a space pirate, an inexplicable Japan/Luxembourg co-production. #EUROVISION
— Douglas Noble (@douglasnoble) May 13, 2023
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That one was all right.
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Now this is more like it.
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Does Cyprus has an extra trouser leg he can lend this lad?
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Not red again!
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BREAK OUT THE RED!
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He’s weirdly well spoken doing the quick bits. It’s like Jack Whitehall is doing them.
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This is genuinely great. I want this to win now.
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When France went full French it was good.
Never go full German.
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Doof Warriors from a parallel dimension made entirely of latex.
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He is a Final Fantasy end-of-disc-2 boss, though, isn't he? #Eurovision
— James Wallis (@JamesWallis) May 13, 2023
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Germany hasn’t made a mistake this bad since they invaded Russia.
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Not bad, but too much red again.
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And now for something completely different.
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I’ve forgotten Lithuania’s entry already and it’s still going.
(There we go, the annual outing for that joke.)
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Nice enough song from Lithuania, hurt by following the full on German performance though
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Maybe third time lucky, Lithuanian woman?
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Another generic, competent pop song isn’t going to work this year.
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Id give that a legs out of 10.
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I wonder what her bikini top’s opinions on the functional apartheid of Palestinians is?
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It’s the Inception corridor fight scene but lit with lights knicked from a brothel
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I was expecting something different given the costume. This is fine – maybe the best of the generic pop songs – but nothing spectacular.
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Just when I thought I’d seen everything, a bra with fangs.
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After a pretty decent synth sting at the start this has descended into bland late 90s dance/R’n’B.
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I bet that German bloke stole her trousers for one of the legs.
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I could have lived without seeing her dance tbh. Norton was right about it just ending. Odd.
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Anyone still going to the Med for a dance club holiday is going to be hearing this all summer.
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What the fuck?
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Crap Diem more like
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Every year I hope Slovenia will send Laibach. I mean, they’d definitely do it, they went to North Korea and did a concert of the songs from The Sound of Music!
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Interesting, this is a song contest not a dance contest! Thankfully purple not pink or red.
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Is he singing about Sega Rally?
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Slovenian indie landfill.
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Busted have let themselves go a bit.
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These lads are not as good as they think they are. Smug pricks
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Did they have to get dressed in the dark?
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They’re not bad, but it feels like a slightly less edgy Maneskin.
I’ve seen spheres more edgy than them.
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Yes, Croatia looking like a high point
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I wonder if Mel is still wearing that milkmaid outfit…
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I like how Mel G stressed anti-war there, to separate it from all the pro-war songs out there.
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OK, this is fucking great.
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Shit, it’s M Bison, ge the Street Fighter jokes out yet again.
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I hope so.
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Dr Robotnik in the Multiverse of Madness
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This feels like it’s taken from a 90s Japanese Playstation game.
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I mean this could be pro war for all I knowđŸ«¤
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Armageddon-granny?
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I put the (translated) subtitles on for this and they just sang “alligator psychopath” apparently.
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That wasn’t good, but it was also great.
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Heard this a lot on the radio…Doesn’t scream winner to me.
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Oh so we didn’t want to host again next year. Fair enough.
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Oh so we didn’t want to host again next year. Fair enough.
Let’s hope Russia doesn’t invade Finland or Germany then.
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Haven’t the UK pissed Europe off enough with all the BREXIT nonsense? This will do nothing to mend the relationship.
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At the risk of being unpatriotic, this feels very nothingy compared to some of the others tonight. Not much of a closer.
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Was she meant to be giving away that she’s been miming there?
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Crap rap.
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Ah, Alesha’s giving the other shoulder an airing now. Good to keep it even.
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Is the tall host really tall, or are the other hosts really short?
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Something for the mums + dads!
More pink but glad other colours too.
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To be honest, not being able to be heard over the crowd doesn’t scream “great production”.
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Oh no, I can’t vote for Ireland!
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Is the tall host really tall, or are the other hosts really short?
She’s 5′ 11″ but probably in heels.
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Poland and France are looking better after the others we’ve just gone through.
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Australia, Belgium or Germany for me.
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Watching the recap my favs are:
Austria
Serbia
France
Finland
Czechia
Australia
Norway
GermanyI think Finland will get the win in the end tho.
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Predictions then? Germany were my favourite. I’d be happy with Finland or Australia though.
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Top song: Finland with Germany close second.
Best of the batshit: Croatia
Best of the rest in no order: Serbia, Norway, Moldova, Belgium, Czechia
Close but no doughnut in the order I’m reminded of them by the recap: Austria, France, Australia, and fuck it, UK -
Derek Jacobi drumming for Sam Ryder.
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Best of the batshit: Croatia
Indisputable.
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Was that roger taylor?
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Cyborgs for Jesus?
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Was that roger taylor?
If it is he’s quite literally let himself go in a big way in the last couple of years.
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I think Norway is my perennial “favourite with no real chance”. Finland is the best of the probable contenders. Austria gets kudos for just being so weird. France and Czechia were good.
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Was that roger taylor?
Yes, on closer inspection it is.
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Now there’s a guy having fun.
Smart bit of inclusion in the dancing too.
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Using the half mic stand like Freddie should be illegal now.
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Jan Leeming! Wow, how did they swing that booking?!
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