Eurovision 2023
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Yes, it’s Eurovision week.
Following Ukraine’s win last year, most people rightly concluded that it wouldn’t be a good idea to stage the contest in what is still an unstable urban war zone. And yet they’re pressing ahead and holding it in Liverpool anyway.
Tune in for the final on Saturday night to see if any wolves eat bananas, how many Polish milkmaids turn up, and whether people are still going to be making endless Jaja Ding Dong jokes this year.
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‘K, the extra servers for the expected board overload are all in place this year, right?
It’ll hopefully be fine, we weren’t overloaded by any means last year, it’s because I use a Malaysian ISP to host they scheduled maintenance for 3amĀ on a Sunday morning as a quiet period.
Which is sensible enough here but not great for a European event which has been a longstanding favourite of the board.
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Maybe once ChatGBT has replaced all the Eurovision songwriters, humans can get on with making something truly creative.
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Maybe once ChatGBT has replaced all the Eurovision songwriters, humans can get on with making something truly creative.
I get the feeling that Eurovision has been where generative AI has been beta-tested for many years.
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Popbitch have made a big guide to the semi-finals. I’m holding off for the final (for which this will be updated to beforehand).
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Oh, thatās what actually happened?
Yeah and I ignored the maintenance email. I checked today and they don’t seem to have anything planned so we should be good to go.
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I scrolled down to make sure they had the right #1 , the rest don’t matter as nobody can remember them anyway.
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Looking through the list, I have one question:
When did Israel become part of Europe?!
I like that your issue is with Israel rather than Australia.
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Looking through the list, I have one question:
When did Israel become part of Europe?!
Eligibility for entry to Eurovision is based on the reach of the EBU broadcasting network, rather than being a nation of the physical continent of Europe.
This has been the first annual recitation of the Eurovision Rules that get brought up every year. Join us next time for “Ireland has been deliberately losing for years because we can’t afford to run the contest”
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Join us next time for āIreland has been deliberately losing for years because we canāt afford to run the contestā
Look, let’s just get it over with now.
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“Lose the sax solo!”
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Join us next time for āIreland has been deliberately losing for years because we canāt afford to run the contestā
Well that’s no reason. You could just ask us to host it for you. We can’t afford it either, but we have to pretend we can because yay brexit.
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Between Iceland sending Hatari in 2019, and Germany sending Lord of the Lost this year, I feel we should just get Ronan Harris to enter as VNV Nation. I mean, listen to this, douze points right there:
Also, Belgium should send Front 242 some year, and Slovenia should send Laibach.
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Cheeky wee Doctor Who trailer there.
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Joss Stoneš¤Ø
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Multiple people who wouldn’t be caught dead competing in Eurovision getting involved here.
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That pink hat has had quite a year.
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I’ve got a 10k running race tomorrow so I’ll be doing Eurovision without a drink in hand. Wish me luck…
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The board officially hates Eurovision
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‘mon Germany!
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This is all very Eurovision.
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Have I missed anything? It looks like it could be bringing the crazy this year?
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Ugh, Alesha Dixon? Hannah Waddingham!
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I swear she just said “Anthrax are your hosts for the evening,” which would be interesting.
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Have I missed anything? It looks like it could be bringing the crazy this year?
Popbitch reckon all the weird stuff made it through the semis this year, so hopefully.
Mel C being the stadium announcer is odd, right?
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The grown-up Teletubbies reboot is looking pretty good
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Wait, there’s a war in Ukraine?!?
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I swear she just said “Anthrax are your hosts for the evening,” which would be interesting.
I mean, metal has been making an inroad into the contest since Lordi.
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Because of the waršššā¦oh, forgot about that
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I could do without the rehearsed “jokes”. I guess it’s always gonna be part of shows like this. Unfortunately.
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Absolutely thrilled Luxumberg are back next year
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Wait, we’re letting the rest of the world vote now? But the sweet local politics will be diminished!
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Why pause before saying Austria is up first? The acts came out in running order!
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I hadn’t noticed that Luxembourg had dropped out.
Did they Luxemexit?
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Ok immediately starting wonderfully bonkers. How is this the first time there’s been a song about the ghost of Edgar Allen Poe possessing an Austrian woman?
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I’m not nearly drunk enough for this
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The grown-up Teletubbies reboot is looking pretty good
Po getting his own song here. Are the other three getting one to?
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I appreciate the cloned dancing girls on the screen
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Edgar Allan Poe is a Eurovision song?????
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Ok immediately starting wonderfully bonkers. How is this the first time there’s been a song about the ghost of Edgar Allen Poe possessing an Austrian woman?
Nah I’m sure Cliff Richard did one of those
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So this is OK, but it’s just lacking a little bit of oomph to go to full on Eurovision crazy. I think it’s the music is too generic techno.
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Well that wasā¦.Something.
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Isn’t this the song done at Jewish weddings or bar mitzvahs when someone’s hoisted on a chair?
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This is like Chris De Burgh’s nightmare
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Portugal: It’s catchy but it isn’st exactly screaming Eurovision
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It sounds like it came from a musical.
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Great. A ballad, and a Swiss one at that.
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Nicked off Twitter.
Two of the best panels Kate Beaton ever produced
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Great. A ballad, and a Swiss one at that.
The last time the Swiss did this, the singer was a serial killer.
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Oh, a ballad….
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Great. A ballad, and a Swiss one at that.
I like a gig that offers regular opportunities to go to the bar.
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Dudes dressed like Ronin.
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He can sing, but he’s 12 and he has no charisma.
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Some light cardio there.
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Everything’s very red this year. I feel like I’m trapped in Snoke’s throne room.
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Great. A ballad, and a Swiss one at that.
The last time the Swiss did this, the singer was a serial killer.
Some would say his victims were lucky, being spared this snoozefest.
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Looking at the words – who mentioned serial killers?!!!
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“Body bags we’ve become”!?
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Blanka’s performance may contain strobe lighting…
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Quick, she’s trapped in the screen like the Phantom Zone!
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Blanka can’t enter for Poland, he’s Brazilian!
Here comes a new challenger!
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Wide angle lens time!
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Dispaointing lack of male dancer’s nipples in this act.
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This could’ve been anyone’s entry for any year.
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The puffs of smoke are the cameramen disappearing from the stage, right?
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I’ve got it, it’s the Vengaboys on valium
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