Discuss relationships, marriage, dating, friend zones and the single life here.
The Al-X Relationship Tread
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Seriously… People my age have been married over 20 years with grown children…
And some of used to be married for a decade, then got a divorce, had to get back into the whole dating thing and are now in a different long-term relationship.
People’s living situations always keep changing, there are always people out there looking for others to share their lives with. But like Gar says, it makes sense to be realistic about it, and like Jon says, there’s also no shame in just focusing on your own life. I mean, I may be wrong here, but we talked some times about getting out more and doing activities – I don’t think you’ve ever tried that, Al? There are many forms of relationships, not just life partnerships or sexual ones; just having more contacts and friends to join in activities might already be a positive change.
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Christian… What you said was true…
I have gotten out and did activities with others in the past. I can’t do much now with this quarantine, but hopefully when it is over…. Gareth is right in that I have to be realistic in relating to someone more my age. I tend to go for younger and a few women did call that to my attention. Something I have to work on.
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“It’s Chris Rock and Roll to me”.
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Is she the one from the Billy Joel song?
Which song?
Upton Girl, obviously
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kennykingpb2
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Perfect time, perfect place, perfect person. She said yes! ( she would have had to swim if she didn’t 😂😎🤴🏾)2 users thanked author for this post.
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I apologize somewhat (~15-22%) for my lack of civility but…
There are no contributors here.
As soon as JR tried contributing/sharing something, you tried to exorcise him (and everyone else) from the thread. Good promoting of discussion there.
edited to add:
Language Anders…
Shit, piss, tits, cock, fuck, motherfucker, Mitch Mcconell, cocksucker, twat, cunt etc.
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I worked with a guy once and met his sister. Nothing personal, but the family resemblance was too pronounced. They looked too much alike. I was thinking at the time that going out with her would be like going with the brother in drag or something… If I met her first it probably would be different. Carry on.
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Carry on
Yes, it does sound like something from a Carry On movie.
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I worked with a guy once and met his sister. Nothing personal, but the family resemblance was too pronounced. They looked too much alike. I was thinking at the time that going out with her would be like going with the brother in drag or something… If I met her first it probably would be different. Carry on.
I wouldn’t mind dating my best friends sister (and boy does he know that I wouldn’t). They’re both hot and if nature/nurture are any indication of mental capability and personality she is probably cool af.
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I guess ever since Demi Moore made it popular in the movie “Ghost”
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I guess ever since Demi Moore made it popular in the movie “Ghost”
So what Instagram filter is that?
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Who’s that cute little boy?
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I guess ever since Demi Moore made it popular in the movie “Ghost”
Pretty sure that Amélie came out after Ghost, Gar.
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No, it doesn’t suit me.
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Remember that it is quarantine time.
Last date I was on it was all right or so I thought. I thought we hit it off well then the next time I saw her she gave me the cold shoulder. Why I said women are so moody and Sabrina called me attention at the time…
Getting back to the short boyish haircut, I did not forget about Audrey Hepburn. I just said that in a more recent time, Demi made it popular. And I have to say that it depends on the face.
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good social etiquette
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Hey Al-x I understand. making a scene is never good. Anders give Al-x a break. He was programmed with proper etiquette and has problems when things break protocol.
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I once worked with a woman who, every time she went to a restaurant, complained about her food, refused the staff’s offer to bring another dish, and made the manager remove it from the bill. Her best friend confided to me that the woman does it because she likes the feeling of power in sending back food and having them fawn over her.
Life is too short, dontcha think?
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Ok…
I would like to expand the relationship thread. Usually we talk about relationships with a date, a boy/girlfriend, wife/husband… How about other relationships with children, parents, siblings, and other relatives? Let us know what you think.
On a side note: I just saw this show briefly while channel surfing on this guy and his gf. His mom won’t leave them alone, wants to go everywhere with them, tracks them, and butts in when she really should be out of their business. The guy feels bad about standing up to the mom… What can you do…
I don’t quite get that laughing video. Maybe just let it go… My point is how you treat others – even others rendering you a service – goes a long way.
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I once worked with a woman who, every time she went to a restaurant, complained about her food, refused the staff’s offer to bring another dish, and made the manager remove it from the bill. Her best friend confided to me that the woman does it because she likes the feeling of power in sending back food and having them fawn over her.
I used to work with a guy who did shit like that. He referred to it as “peacocking,” which is a term used in that pick-up artistry nonsense. Presumably he thought being the centre of attention was going to get him laid, but all it did was make people feel uncomfortable.
Mind you, this guy had issues… he was later accused of sexually assaulting some girl he’d picked up in a bar, and when she yelled to her flatmates for help, he jumped out of a window and escaped along a scaffold. When the case went to court he said he left that way because he was into parkour. He was acquitted.
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Hey Al-x I understand. making a scene is never good. Anders give Al-x a break. He was programmed with proper etiquette and has problems when things break protocol.
Information noted. Terms accepted. Disabling autocannons.
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Information noted. Terms accepted. Disabling autocannons.
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Ok… a little philosophy:
Months ago, when people were in offices, we had some young women there who were attractive. All the guys would check them out as they passed by in the hallway. No one would really hit on them or make a remark given all the office policies about harassment and dating in the office but I digress.
Thing is, I have to say that if a woman is only known for a nice body, she basically is just someone that everybody wants to …you know… and not take seriously. Should be more to her than just that for a relationship.
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What is the difference between a girlfriend (or boyfriend) and a wife (or husband)? 38 pounds.
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I always maintained on the boards to this day, to get in shape a little bit to attract someone. Not to say you should go overboard but if you feel you would look better if you lose 10lbs, then go for it… Dating shape, remember?
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I haven’t used the term “happening kind of guy” in a long time… So I just did.
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Most of these postings are about being on the prowl, what to say as small talk to someone you meet or date, and not relationship topics like leaving the toilet seat up, who spent how much on what, arguments at the dinner table, arguing with in-laws, those kind of things. Also a date is one thing, but someone who lives with you and puts up with you day in and day out for who knows how long… That is a keeper.
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Haven’t heard any Chris Rock gossip lately. Have you?
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That is about it for now.
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What is the difference between a girlfriend (or boyfriend) and a wife (or husband)? 38 pounds.
I’m in better shape now married, in my late thirties, than I was before, in my mid twenties.
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Did you lose 38 pounds?
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Floppy feconds it if.
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Eggshells eeyore!
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Did you lose 38 pounds?
Pretty close to it, yeah.
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I attempted to post this last night, but the board apparently ate it up, so… second attempt:
Okay, rather than theories and philosophies, how about we share some experiences of dating in the real world? As far as I’m aware, a lot of us on here are in long-term relationships, but I’m sure that wasn’t always the case. So I’m guessing quite a few of us have tried the various dating apps or websites, or been set up with potential partners by friends. So does anyone have any dating stories to share?
I’ve been with my current girlfriend, Rachael, for 6 years, and we met via a dating website. I’d been on quite a few dates prior to meeting Rachael though, some good, some that led to friendships or brief relationships, and some downright awful dates. At first I found it really nerve-wracking – and that undoubtedly contributed to a few of the bad dates – but after a while I became very pragmatic about it. I figured even if I didn’t meet the love of my life, at the very least I could just enjoy a nice night out with a few drinks and some good company.
As for bad experiences, I met a couple of people with whom it was hard to keep a conversation going even for the time it took to finish a single drink, so I just made my excuses and left. One woman I met hardly contributed a single thing to the conversation, constantly looked around the room as though she’d rather be anywhere else in the world, and yet seemed surprised when I decided to leave after one drink. Who knows, maybe she was shy, but when she spoke she certainly didn’t come across as shy so I just took it as rudeness, hence my hasty exit.
And then there was the woman whose first message to me was something like, “I see you’re a fellow Aries – you must set the sheets alight like me…”, and then stalked me online for the next few weeks, but the less said about her the better.
Aside from that, most of the people I met were perfectly nice, but we just didn’t click for whatever reason.
So that’s a little about my experiences. Either someone else can chime in, or it’s back to Al with the reruns…
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I’ve never been on a date like that. Every relationship (or even one nighter) I’ve had was someone I knew already, started flirting and copped off with in a club or party.
Actually the only ‘stranger’ in that sense was when my mate (who was very confident) went to chat up a girl in a nightclub and he came back and told me she’d said she fancied me, so I took over. I walked her home and we kissed goodnight but I found out from another friend the next day she was only 15 years old so I never called the number she gave me.
Before I get branded a Gary Glitter she was actually taller than me and lied that she was nearly 18 which she could easily pass as (and how she got into the club). It probably taught me it’s best to know something about them first. 😂
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I think a lot has changed in the past 20 years or so.
Back then it was quite unusual (or at least slightly stigmatised and strange) for people to say they met online. I remember going to a friend’s wedding maybe 10 years ago and one of the speeches mentioned that they had met via the internet and even then, not so long ago, there was a slight frisson of surprise that went around the room.
Nowadays it’s quite the opposite and it’s unusual for people to have not met through a dating app or online service.
So given that I’ve been with my wife for more than 15 years now, my own experiences are at this point pretty dated. Like Gar, the dates I went on were with people I knew already, either through friendship groups or getting together on a night out. So we never had that awkward “do we have anything in common?” moment that in those days was reserved for blind dates only (and I never did any of those).
That doesn’t mean there wasn’t awkwardness, and like a lot of other people I learned through making mistakes with women that now I look back on and cringe a little bit.
By and large though, I’ve found that a lot of the rules and received wisdom around dating and relationships are utter bullshit. All those lists of dos and don’ts, all that rigid advice about how long to wait to call or text back and when it’s their “turn” to initiate contact, it’s all utter arse.
Just do what feels natural and right, and if you’re both on the same page then a rapport and relationship will blossom. And if not, then it probably wasn’t to be.
My only real regrets in dating are things I didn’t do, impulses I didn’t act on, sometimes because I was naive or emotionally inexperienced (there are interactions from my youth that I look back on now where women I liked were giving me blatant expressions of interest and I was too dumb/blind to act on it, and I kick myself.)
While I didn’t go out with a huge number of women, I feel like I’ve learned from all the relationships I’ve had and from my own experiences, rather than going by what magazines or online advice says. It’s like riding a bike, you can’t really learn how to do it on paper and in theory, you have to do it in practice. Just put yourself out there and give it a go.
You might have to go through a few bad dates (and judging by my friends who have used dating apps, maybe more than a few) but in the end the law of averages alone says you’ll meet someone you click with. And go from there.
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While I didn’t go out with a huge number of women, I feel like I’ve learned from all the relationships I’ve had
So many people don’t get this. Time and again you hear people say things like, “they tried to change me” or “they should just accept me for who I am” and it’s complete bullshit.
Every relationship I’ve ever had has made me a better person. If you go into a relationship thinking you’re perfect and don’t need to change in any way, then it’s doomed to failure.
As for meeting people online, this was my first experience of having to do that. My previous relationship that lasted 8 years was someone I met at work, but since I work on my own at home nowadays, that avenue no longer exists. Online dating is hard work because there is so much choice, but in my case, persistence paid off.
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So many people don’t get this. Time and again you hear people say things like, “they tried to change me” or “they should just accept me for who I am” and it’s complete bullshit.
To put a twist on this one, I’ve been in a few relationships where the other has either expected or actively tried to change me into being in a way I’m not at all comfortable with. I once broke up with someone because she said she wanted to have children with me and expected me to change my view over time. (My view being that I never want to have children, for a lot of reasons we totally could go into but would break the point I’m trying to make right now.) Another time it didn’t work out because the other half of my relationship was extremely jealous and expected me to stop hanging out and talking with my other friends altogether.
I don’t mean to disagree with Steve’s point, I absolutely agree on it, seeing as even those relationships actually has changed me. But sometimes, someone comes in with unrealistic expectations on who you are or what the relationship should be.
To be fair, I’m not great at relationships. There are a few factors in my life on which I am 100% unwilling to compromise (like the having kids issue), but then on the other hand I don’t seek out relationships on whims based on wishful thinking.
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I have to say that it wouldn’t hurt this thread or board for that matter to have women here posting. I don’t know how to recruit them well
Stand in the street with a sandwich board.
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Cuz women really love sandwiches, right?
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Right?!4 users thanked author for this post.
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So, way back in 1982 the firm I worked for hired a new receptionist who I was immediately attracted to, and I got the feeling she was attracted to me too. Two problems — it’s never a good idea to date a coworker, and she was already in a relationship. We went to lunch together regularly, and there was a lot of flirting going on, but nothing beyond that. After a year of this, in Spring 1983 I got laid off due to recession cutbacks; so, one problem solved. I immediately told her I would like to keep seeing her more seriously if she was interested; she said she was, and she broke up with the guy she had been seeing. In 1984 we moved into an apartment together, and in 1986 we got married. That was 34 years ago today; Happy Anniversary, Liz!
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After a year of this, in Spring 1983 I got laid
Ooooh!
off
Boooo!
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Happy Anniversary, Jerry and Liz!
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I’ve never been on a date like that. Every relationship (or even one nighter) I’ve had was someone I knew already, started flirting and copped off with in a club or party.
Pretty much the same here when it comes to my twenties. I did try the dating thing after my divorce, including using apps and websites, and it was an interesting experience. Often frustrating – I suppose my experiences are somewhat similar to Steve’s – but also it was interesting to see what it was like trying to go on dates and meeting strange women when you’re about forty and not sure how you come across to people who don’t know you. It was a positive in that experience to see that aspect of it as somewhat self-affirmative. But in the end, the actual romance I fell into was with someone from work – seen from that angle, I could as well have skipped all the dating.
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Cuz women really love sandwiches, right?
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Right?!How else are they going to put on the 38 pounds?
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Usually I post something and then everybody follows railing against me.
No we don’t!
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Stop copying me, Todd!!
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Well that sounds pretty toxic. Hard no.
My partner and I have a boringly normal relationship, and I’m very glad of it.
Incidentally, I hate the word “partner” – it sounds like a business relationship – but “girlfriend” and “boyfriend” makes us sound like teenagers. I’m convinced this lack of appropriate nomenclature is designed to force us to get married.
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Personal space? What the fuck is that? We live in a pokey two bedroom flat with a five year old. The concept of personal space is long dead. That’s one of the reasons I’ve really upped my running regime since the start of lockdown. Not for any health or fitness reasons but merely to get out of the house away from everyone.
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Incidentally, I hate the word “partner” – it sounds like a business relationship – but “girlfriend” and “boyfriend” makes us sound like teenagers. I’m convinced this lack of appropriate nomenclature is designed to force us to get married.
I hear you. I find myself quite often saying “my wife” for that reason even though we’re not married.
Personal space? What the fuck is that? We live in a pokey two bedroom flat with a five year old. The concept of personal space is long dead. That’s one of the reasons I’ve really upped my running regime since the start of lockdown. Not for any health or fitness reasons but merely to get out of the house away from everyone.
I am so happy that we have a garden (of our own) and even a former-garage-turned-additional-room out there. During the lockdown, that was essential.
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I am so happy that we have a garden
We have a communial car park. Not exactly child friendly. That’s one of the reasons we are moving to a new housing development just outside the city. A bit more space inside, and a half dencent sized garden space too. The part of the development we’re moving to is mostly complete but other parts are still building sites. That said, in the long term, it’s going to be a nice wee community.
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So, technically, florists are castrators.
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On the other hand, I went into the woods yesterday and collected a bunch of mushroom penises and ate them at home. And it was delicious.
(Most of the mushroom is below the surface. It grows the stuff you see coming up to spread spores.)
Another fun mushroom fact: mushrooms are not plants, and they are cellularly actually closer to animals than plants.
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Well, as we all know bloodless castration is the best castration.
Isn’t that right, TODD?
You asked for me to castrate you bloodlessly and I did.
Sure, I had to you a red hot blade that would cut and cauterize as I went. And you never mentioned wanting to be anaesthetized during the procedure.
But seriously, you didn’t have to be a big baby about the whole thing, screaming all the time. Grow a pair of balls- Oh, wait. Yeah, right.
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icture this:
You have a crush on someone for a long time and he/she doesn’t return the same feelings even ignoring you…Do you get upset?
(There are guys who give these “catcalls” or whatever out in the street and when the woman ignores them, they get mad and sometimes violent.)
I have to say that some don’t get it that the other person has a choice to either accept or reject them.
Those are two very different things, let’s start by pointing that out. Catcalling isn’t about having a crush, it’s about demonstrating your power over a random woman’s body. You publicly demonstrate that you have a right to both judge the attractiveness of women you don’t know and to express sexual desire, whether that woman wants to know about it or not. It’s got nothing to do with any honest emotion but purely with expressing male dominance.
As for having a crush, well, yeah, sure you get upset, only I wouldn’t call it “upset”. You seem to imply something like – anger? For the person who rejected you? But that’s not a real crush man, a real crush means that that person is an angel and the most beautiful creature you have ever seen and of course she’s rejecting you because you’re just, well, you, you’re a sack of meat and insecurity and she is the beauty of the universe. You’re not upset, man, you’re suffering and the whole world is painted in shades of black, but in the most beautiful way. This is when you listen to all those Smiths songs and you feel the world like never before or again. That’s what you do when you have a crush. Pfft. “upset” my arse.
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And you never mentioned wanting to be anaesthetized during the procedure.
I can procure my own drugs thank-you-very-much.
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