The Al-X Relationship Tread

Topic

[lorcan_nagle]

Discuss relationships, marriage, dating, friend zones and the single life here.

• This topic was modified 4 years ago by lorcan_nagle.
• This topic was modified 4 years ago by lorcan_nagle.

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Andy

Al-x wrote:

Shifting gears…

Big, lavish, wedding or City Hall?

Jeez Al, at least take me out to dinner first.

Al-x wrote:

Shifting gears…
Big, lavish, wedding or City Hall?

Best wedding I ever experienced was my daughter’s (7 years ago this month). Took place in a minister’s back yard, attended by five immediate family members and two chickens; followed by a wonderful dinner for the seven of us (the chickens stayed home with the minister) at which we stuffed ourselves with food and drank copious amounts of wine for about four hours. A month later they had a wedding celebration with extended family and friends, in a former pickle-barrel factory bought by a couple who ran a successful corporate catering business. None of the trappings of a traditional wedding, just a great party with great music, great food, open cocktail bar, and a separate help-yourself whiskey bar.

So, a little more personal than City Hall, but far better than a big lavish wedding.

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DavidM, Al-x, Andy

My wife and I got married on the cheap at a state park overlooking the Mississippi River. I think it was just under $3000 with about 150 people. That included our rings, clothes (made by friends with us providing the leather), 2 tents, tables & chairs, a stone and log open shelter with a fire place, catering and music.

I actually thought it was expensive until my best man told me he spent $30,000 on his wedding the year before!

It’s been 24 years so I think the party was worth it.

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Christian, DavidM, njerry, Dave, Bruce, Todd, Al-x

njerry wrote:

five immediate family members and two chickens; followed by a wonderful dinner for the seven of us

Nooo 

njerry wrote:

the chickens stayed home

<u></u>

Oh thank God

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njerry

I guess if your families want a big wedding, you’ll do it for them. But if both of you are older and mature about it, a nice civil wedding will do.

How much will a big wedding set you back anyways?

Including the ice sculpture at the reception Hall.

Al-x wrote:

How much will a big wedding set you back anyways?

From a 2018 CNN report:

“The price tag more than doubles for couples looking to tie the knot in New York City. It’s the most expensive city to get married, with the average Manhattan wedding costing a whopping $76,944.”

That actually sounds kind of low based on recent family weddings I’ve attended. Must remember to thank my daughter again for her wedding choices.

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Todd, Al-x

[Todd]

Christel on occasion watches a reality show called “Say Yes to the Dress” about women buying wedding dresses at this particular store in NYC.

Most of the dresses cost tens of thousands of dollars! And this is for something she is going to wear once. Men are lucky because we can rent the tux for $100 – 200 or if you have enough people in your party, the groom’s tux is free! That’s what happened with me.

• This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by Todd.

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Todd wrote:

Christel on occasion watches a reality show capitalist propaganda called “Say Yes to the address”

Hrm.

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Christian, Andy, Todd, DavidM, lorcan_nagle

I hear the term “trophy wife” to mean a very attractive mate to show off and brag to others “This is what I have”. But that is imho, rather shallow, no real depth to the relationship.

On the other hand, a person is so much better off with a mate who is for the most part your best friend, who you can live with and put up with 24/7, and go through the ups and downs of life together. That is a true mate, a true trophy.

There you have it, more words of wisdom from a “happening kind of guy”.

In other words: Donald/Melania versus Barack/Michelle

Or Springsteen/Julianne Phillips versus Springsteen/Patti Scialfa

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Christian, Todd, Al-x

I wonder what would happen if you viewed your partner as a person rather than an object. I know, mind-blowing but hear me out…

Anders… We are here.

What do you have to say?

That considering people trophies is scummy as fuck regardless of reasons.

Insert joke about mounting trophy on the wall.

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Seems to be a fair few would-be trophies out there on instagram.

I mean, imagine if you viewed yourself as a trophy.

Anonymous wrote:

That considering people trophies is scummy as fuck regardless of reasons.

the sad truth is it does exist because often times rich people or vain people ARE scummy as fuck themselves

p.s. another sad truth: my mother has friends who physically attracted to Donald Trump because he is rich and successful. Not that Donald would ever give them the time of day. my mom is 87. when she was young many women looked for rich and successful i.e. “a good provider” instead of emotional love.

Rocket wrote:

rich and successful

unfortunately you have to admit becoming President of The US is an amount of success .

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Dave

He’ll never amount to anything!

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Ok…

It is Summer which means for the most part less clothing, people watching etc. Women in shorts, miniskirts, and tights don’t bother me, but I used to ask “Why go step outside and wear that in public?” The answer is quite simple: Because they can, because they are young and want to feel sexy, and because they want to make this their statement to the world and how they feel that day.

In past relationships I would go shopping with gf’s and they would ask me “Does this make me look fat?” Of course I would say no, yet in a relationship if she wears something a bit too revealing, I would say something. It does get into the issue of do you have the right to be so…”territorial” about what she wears outside. It is her body, her right etc. she is her own person, yet it can be a delicate situation in a relationship.

These days, weddings are mainly a fun way to see old friends and get drunk together. Also, one of the few events where mid-forties guys are allowed on the dancefloor. (Much of the fun does depend on the wedding DJs; not all of them will play Rage Against the Machine.) It’s cool if there’s a nice setting and nice food and everybody gets to dress up a little, but honestly none of that matters. A happy couple, and friends who are happy for them.

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Bruce, Dave

Christian wrote:

A happy couple, and friends who are happy for them.

And alcohol.

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Todd

Lots and lots and lots of it.

Al-x wrote:

It does get into the issue of do you have the right to be so…”territorial” about what she wears outside.

No you do not.

Al-x wrote:

yet it can be a delicate situation in a relationship.

You always tell her she is beautiful.

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njerry

Anonymous wrote:

You always tell her she is beautiful.

What happened to honesty??

Well Tim, as I said, she can wear what she wants, but if she gets wrongly stared at by a bit too many guys, would you tell her to tone it down a little?

You know Tim, where you post you know who will follow.

You know…I’m old enough now to date whomever, but when I was younger I would have trepidations about meeting her father. The mom I can charm but while the father is nice, I always had the feeling he was thinking this: “So, you’re the one banging my daughter!” Needless to say, I was never into fathers, not even my own but I digress… As I said I am old enough now to date without that situation in mind… There was a rule to date by taking your age in half and adding 7 years and that would be your bottom limit but that is about over now…I am not on the prowl or pull these days. At one time I felt I was getting to old, but then I got this advice to value yourself not putting age limits. Now I draw inspiration from Frank Miller’s Dark Knight original where Bruce comes back and goes at it in his 50s.

Al-x wrote:

when I was younger I would have trepidations about meeting her father. The mom I can charm but while the father is nice, I always had the feeling he was thinking this: “So, you’re the one banging my daughter!”

This has come up before and I always find it funny. Why would the father be thinking that any more than the mother? Would you have charmed the thought out of her head?

(Not that either of them would probably be thinking that anyway.)

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Todd

My first serious girlfriend’s father was a very intimidating ex-Marine; and she had four older brothers. I never felt comfortable around that family. Ironically, two of those brothers have recently requested to “friend” me on Facebook, but I’m still not ready to go there.

Because the father is a guy too, and to some guys, I find that it is like taking something from
the family and he is the family protector as it were. Some fathers view their daughters as
precious what can I say?…

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You always tell her she is beautiful.

What happened to honesty??

Beauty is relative and she will always be more beautiful than your lazy ass.

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DavidM

Al-x wrote:

Well Tim, as I said, she can wear what she wants, but if she gets wrongly stared at by a bit too many guys, would you tell her to tone it down a little?

I think a large part of being comfortable in a relationship is being comfortable enough not to feel a need to force it into a shape you think it should be.  Clothing does matter to a degree.  I can’t ever see myself dating someone who walks around in mesh parachute pants for example.  I once dated a girl who had a purple beanie which read “Queen” and it was a little too much for me, and I was always embarrassed whenever she wore it when we were at a cafe, but I never said anything.  As it turned out, she was a little too image conscious and that was probably reflected in that beanie, and so we didn’t last very long.  But we didn’t last long because she was more obsessed with the appearance of our relationship than the substance and that’s why it ended.  So sometimes your dislike of clothes can speak to a greater truth about the person.

With that said,  I was also in a relationship with a girl once who did not like my clothes.  I have a pretty conservative look I suppose – lots of jeans and leather jackets; sports jackets and button up shirts.  I have a few scarves.  She was an immigration lawyer and thought those things spoke a little bit too much of privelege and was always urging me to wear just t-shirts and jumpers.  It became a little bit of a game of me exerting my will to wear a blazer or something.  In the end, we broke up because she moved cities to chase her dream job at a major immigration not-for-profit in Melbourne, but to be honest I probably would have toned down my going out style for her if we continued, but there’s a part of me that wonders if I would have felt like she didn’t ever really appreciate who I was because of it.

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That’s an interesting one. I think even in the closest of partnerships there are aspects of our personality that your partner doesn’t appreciate. Sometimes it’s things that you wear, and it’s one of those compromise things where you change bits of it that you’re flexible about – but it’s more difficult if it goes to the heart of who you feel you are. I think it’s probably not that much different when it comes to habits. In good partnerships, you kind of develop together, each partner changing little bits kind of organically as you grow together. But that kind of thing can be a challenge, too.

There’s also areas that maybe you wish your partner could appreciate (because they inform your personality to some degree) but know they never will (for me, that’s some kinds of music and movies), but that’s also fine. You’ll never find a perfect mirror who will feel the same about everything, and it probably wouldn’t be a good thing if you did.

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God no, living with another me would be awful. One is bad enough.

I would date a hot clone female Dave.

We could play videogames together and talk about the board.

Tim and others:

If my partner called me attention to something I said or was doing wrong that was embarrassing I would thank her for it.
Even if she suggested certain “improvements” like watching my soda intake, some fashion tips, I would appreciate it.

However, if she was trying to change me into her ideal of me… you know some enter relationships with the feeling “I can change him/her and have them wrapped around my finger.” Trying to influence you in major career and other life decisions….

We already have heard of women (not mentioning names) who are said to have influenced their partner to leaving famous music bands, even royalty. Whether they really did it or not, I can’t believe the guy was that whipped. Just saying.

I think it’s more complicated than that, you can actively want to help your partner change their life and become a different and better person without that necessarily being a controlling instinct.

In fact it can be a very altruistic impulse driven by love and wanting to help your partner achieve their goals and be the best version of themselves that they can be.

Mostly in a functional relationship I think it’s a constructive, supportive two-way process that’s part of being a couple, a team, rather than seeing a couple as a pair of individuals who are always just working to their own ends within that partnership.

There is the old cliché about a woman marrying a man in the expectation he will change and a man marrying a woman in the expectation that she will stay the same, but I think that’s a bit simplistic really. Lives are going to change as the relationship grows, that’s inevitable, it’s all about how you approach and manage that change together.

Constructively and in partnership is the most functional way I think. Working on your own to try and shape your partner into what you want, against their will or without them being on board, is less likely to succeed or be good for the relationship I think.

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Andy, Todd, Christian, Al-x

Al-x wrote:

We already have heard of women (not mentioning names) who are said to have influenced their partner to leaving famous music bands, even royalty. Whether they really did it or not, I can’t believe the guy was that whipped.

If we’re talking Lennon and Edward VIII here there’s a lot more context to it than the partners. In the history of the Beatles it always seems a large part of the falling out was over the appointment of their business manager. For Edward VIII it’s sold as a narrative of a great sacrifice for love but I mean he just moved to Paris, got a huge allowance to live in a mansion and party every day. Quite frankly I’d have preferred that lifestyle to having to wander the planet shaking hands with people and being well behaved at all times.

They also both stayed with their partners until they died, despite having the money and fame to have attracted a lot of other women, so can’t have felt the decisions weren’t good ones, so not whipped as you say.

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DavidM, Al-x

Dear Impasse Al

As Dave says, relationships can be seen as another living organism and subject to change and evolution.  Successful relationships will grow in partnership together after communication.  Things like clothes are tough, though.  Asking to sit down with your partner and suggest they change their clothes is going to be tough because it’s likely going to be difficult to frame that as wanting your partner to be the best version of who they can be, and more likely to be seen as wanting to change them for change sake.  The success in this will depend on how adept you are at having these conversations, and the level of trust in each other that has been established within the relationship already.  It isn’t a request you would make after a few weeks of a relationship.

Traditionally, the paradigm is that women are more fashion conscious then men, and so you will get more men who will concede to women dressing them, but not so much the other way around.  There is a cliché in which the woman asks the man to pick a dress for her, and she will choose the one she likes irrespective of his opinion; and the reverse is the man asking the woman to pick a tie for him and he will follow her letter to the law.  They are clichés that you see in old 80s/90s movies though and not representative of the nuances of relationships.

As Christian says, if the clothes go to the core of who a person is, then asking them to change that may come across as an affront.  But, for your specific example – a woman who wears more revealing clothing than you would prefer – may not be seen that way if it is framed in the right way. But there are important things to consider:  maybe she wears that way because she enjoys the way it makes her feel and she wants to feel desired and beautiful and the clothes exemplify this?  If this is the case, are you comfortable asking her to deny herself this feeling?  Are you wanting to ask her to change the way she dresses because you are worried about how she is seen for her sake, or because you don’t like that other men see her as an object of desire? If it is the later then that is an issue for you to work on, not her.  You may need to interrogate your own emotions to determine what is the root of your wish for her to change, before deciding whether or not it is a topic you think worth being raised for the better of the relationship.

Stay sexy

Dr Love

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Todd, garjones

At some point you just have to resign yourself to porn and masturbation. Relationships aren’t for everyone.

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Dear All-Alone Arjan

Although in some modern cultures it is shunned, historically the act of self-love was seen as a transformative and essential part of coming to terms with your sexual needs and desires.

Taking the time to explore yourself is a good thing. Make it a special occassion. Eat some dark chocolate (a known aphrodisiac).  Put on some make-up and a silk nightgown. Light some scented candles and run a bath. Get to know the “inner Arjan”! You never know what you might find!

Stay Sexy

Dr Love.

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Christian

Anonymous wrote:

At some point you just have to resign yourself to porn and masturbation. Relationships aren’t for everyone.

Worst Fortune Cookie ever.

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Andy, DavidM, Todd, njerry

I think if you’re giving up on human relationships the least you can do with your life is to dedicate it to a snake god.

Also, with Japanese sex robots and VR coming, maybe human sex will be replaced for many people in the future.

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Todd

You think we’ll be relegated to watching Japanese robots have sex?

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Andy, Todd

Dear fellow Doctor Love.

I have a friend who said:

Anonymous wrote:

At some point you just have to resign yourself to porn and masturbation. Relationships aren’t for everyone.

Then another friend of mine said:

Christian wrote:

I think if you’re giving up on human relationships the least you can do with your life is to dedicate it to a snake god.

What exactly do they mean? Aren’t these the same thing?

I look forward to your answer.

Best Regards

Signed “Fellow Submarine”

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Christian

Dear Skeptical Submarine,

There are many euphemisms for male masturbation including

Auditioning your hand puppet

Oozing your noodle

Squirt hockey

Hand shandy

Smoosh smoosh

Burping the worm

Wanking

Pocket pinball

Badgering the witness

Celebrating Palm Sunday

Making magic with leftovers

Pulling the Pope

Wrestling the eel

Liquidating the inventory

Hoisting your own petard

Fishing with dynamite

Beef Strokenoff

Jerkin’ the gherkin

Cooking cucumbers

Consulting Dr. Jackoff

Tipping off the inspector

Much a goo about nothing

Looking for clues with Fred and Daphne

Discovering your own potential

Shuffling your iPod

Strangling the Cyclops

Buffing the Vampire Slayer

Making Pearl Jam

Meeting the Goopman at midnight

Seasoning your meatloaf

Practicing politics

Hunting for Red October

Tossing egg salad

Crying on the toilet

23 skidoo

and

The tartar sauce rainbow

 

But I have not yet come across “Dedicating your life to the Snake God” as one of them. I do know of a famous occult-inclined comic book writer who has resolved to do this in its common English meaning and his self-professed disciple who swears by a form of gnostic masturbation magic in which to affect change upon the world, so who knows? Perhaps the two are indeed related.

Stay Sexy

Dr Love

 

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Christian

Dave wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

At some point you just have to resign yourself to porn and masturbation. Relationships aren’t for everyone.

Worst Fortune Cookie ever.

Or the BEST one ever!

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Andy, Christian

Dave wrote:

You think we’ll be relegated to watching Japanese robots have sex?

@lorcan_nagle will lead the way for us all.

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Anonymous wrote:

But I have not yet come across “Dedicating your life to the Snake God” as one of them

Have you never heard of the Trouser Snake?

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Todd

Tim aka Dr Love:

I live in NYC and have been to the streets and beaches in Rio…

I first raised the question about having a gf and what she wears. I did say women can wear what they want. I also stated that women wear what they wear and the main reasons for it. (Please see upthread)

Personally, I like women who are attractive but don’t flaunt their sexuality. Someone who constantly goes out of their way to dress sexy (“This is how hot I am”) to the world comes across to me as trying too hard. (I won’t make any psych diagnosis as I am not a psychologist.) I’ve been with women who are attractive, but thought they were “hotter” that they actually looked, but I digress…

If I was walking with someone and a group of guys were on the corner ahead, I would say “Let’s cross the street.” That’s just me. I don’t have a problem with what someone wears, but what you wear may say a lot about you.

Tim…fellow. Say you had $1,000 in cash in your pocket or wallet and had to pay for something in store. Would you take out sufficient cash to pay or display the whole thousand? There is something to be said about proper discretion.

Impasse Al

PS – Some of you guys are having a bit too much fun with masturbation names… Ladies do that about me really. Just saying.

Anonymous wrote:

Get to know the “inner Arjan”! You never know what you might find!

That’s what Nietzsche meant when he said “Do not gaze too deeply into the abyss, for the abyss will also gaze into thee.”

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Todd

Al-x wrote:

Tim aka Dr Love:

I live in NYC and have been to the streets and beaches in Rio…

I first raised the question about having a gf and what she wears. I did say women can wear what they want. I also stated that women wear what they wear and the main reasons for it. (Please see upthread)

Personally, I like women who are attractive but don’t flaunt their sexuality. Someone who constantly goes out of their way to dress sexy (“This is how hot I am”) to the world comes across to me as trying too hard. (I won’t make any psych diagnosis as I am not a psychologist.) I’ve been with women who are attractive, but thought they were “hotter” that they actually looked, but I digress…

If I was walking with someone and a group of guys were on the corner ahead, I would say “Let’s cross the street.” That’s just me. I don’t have a problem with what someone wears, but what you wear may say a lot about you.

Tim…fellow. Say you had $1,000 in cash in your pocket or wallet and had to pay for something in store. Would you take out sufficient cash to pay or display the whole thousand? There is something to be said about proper discretion.

Impasse Al

PS – Some of you guys are having a bit too much fun with masturbation names… Ladies do that about me really. Just saying.

“Al-x” is a term for masturabation?

Todd, I’m doing your job for you:

15 Best Songs That Are Totally about Masturbation

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Todd

I read that title wrong and thought I was going to get a “best 15 songs to masturbate to”. I feel robbed JeRrY!!

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Todd

Dave wrote:

You think we’ll be relegated to watching Japanese robots have sex?

That’s actually something Zizek thought about loudly in a talk I saw, how liberating it would be if you went on a date with someone and your two sex robots would take care of all of that in the bedroom while you and your date would have a nice tea and a chat in the living room, free to not think about having sex.

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Uhhh…

Liberating… sure.

OK … Regroup

Time for friend zone:

You go out with someone and they tell you they like you as a friend and not more serious than that.
What do you do?

Personally, I say it is her right to do so. Any frustration on my part is really my problem.
I can always keep in touch and also move on to other relationships as well. This is a free
agency situation, after all.

Thoughts? Opinions?

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JRCarter

I don’t know, give me a while to think about it as it hasn’t come up before.

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DavidM, Todd, njerry

Al-x wrote:

What do you do?

Make spiteful remarks about her appearance.

Al-x wrote:

You go out with someone and they tell you they like you as a friend and not more serious than that.
What do you do?

Go home into the nearest closet and scream “MOTHERFUCKER!” at the top of your lungs.

Al-x wrote:

You go out with someone and they tell you they like you as a friend and not more serious than that.
What do you do?

Adopt a cat. Or two cats.

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DavidM

What if the cats dont want to adopted and just want to stay friends?

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DavidM

Anonymous wrote:

What if the cats dont want to adopted and just want to stay friends?

That’s the case with every cat, even the ones you think you’ve adopted.

Actually, “stay friends” might be a bit optimistic. You’d be lucky with “tolerate in the same room occasionally”.

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Todd

I have friends who are cats.

Not best friends, though. Only dogs can be best friends.

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Todd

And I am allergic to cats

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Todd

JRCarter wrote:

Go home into the nearest closet and scream “MOTHERFUCKER!” at the top of your lungs.

An ancient martian meditation practice, if I’m not mistaken.

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JRCarter, Todd

OK…. Al-x time:-) :

All jokes aside about crying, screaming, adopting a pet, it all shows that you all have gotten your hopes so high on someone who has not reciprocated yet which can be considered a flaw. It appears that you have attached yourself and projected the person as a partner before she or he said anything and when that person says no, only as a friend, you crash. It hurts even more when you see the person with someone else (maybe hanging all over them) who you feel you are better than.

Truth is they have free agency of choice, to decide. Of course you wish they choose you but if they choose differently, you have your answer, you can heal, and move on as a free agent in your own right. Thing is, don’t get your hopes so high beforehand. Easier said than done. Having a crush can get to you, but chasing after someone who doesn’t want you can be very embarrassing in the end.

Just saying.

How do you handle a crush you have on someone?

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JRCarter, Todd

FFS Todd, what the hell is that video? Even the ancient greeks knew that real love was only possible between men.

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Todd

That is the fat slob from that fiance show…

Todd wrote:

That was a very interesting video. While the explanation of how the Romantics saw love is entirely correct, I am not sure if you can say that was such a new thing at the time; I mean, Shakespeare’s plays had been around for two hundred years at the time, and they celebrate exactly that idea of love (I would argue), the idea that only through loving someone else, you become authentically yourself.

Anyway, it’s an interesting approach to look for these motifs in reality TV. It’s true that we’ve been repeating the same ideas and motifs when it comes to love, from “Tristan and Isolde” to “Romeo and Juliet” to “Titanic”, so it’s no wonder that even the dumbest characters on these shows are expert at regurgitating these motifs, and to see them through that lense certainly allows you to examine them with a little more distance.

A few more notes:
– on the unconditionality of love, I wonder if it really is all that damaging. I mean, I think this ideal has actually been reduced, given that a third of marriages are now divorced, and that is probably a healthy thing. But as something to strive for, it also means that you’re striving for stability, for a relationship that will stay with you. One of the reasons that this notion has survived so well is possibly because of the stability it provides to society. I also wonder if it isn’t an ideal that we also have because it’s how we feel about family; the love of a parent for their child – unless things are seriously fucked up – is not conditional on how the child behaves. Hell, even in families that are seriously disfunctional, part of the problem is that the family members still love each other, even if it has turned out they don’t much like it each other. Maybe we remember that kind of love from our childhood and keep looking for it.

– myth 2 is certainly why many relationships fail. But at the same time, I once again doubt that this is just a conditioned idea drilled into us by endless repetition of this motif. I think it’s also kind of hard-wired into us because it is what we feel when we fall in love: When you have just fallen in love, nothing else is important and you feel this kind of divine purity. Of course, we know these days that that’s a result of your brain basically being flooded with drugs; you’re on a powerful high that does make you feel everything more purely and gives you a sense of the divine. That’s not something that depends on the historical development of our ideas on love, it’s a biological given. Even if you’re unhappily in love – the crush Al mentions above – there is a kind of emotional purity to that unhappiness that can be a kind of rush just in the intensity of the emotion.

– I also doubt the implicit hypothesis clip that reality TV (and other media) perpetrating the myths about love means that they are stronger than ever before. Because we have so many other narratives now; the romantic ideal of love has been deconstructed so heavily in the 20th century, and even though romantic comedies following the traditional ideas are the majority, there are still scores of other movies and novels examining relationships and the nature of love in different ways. Not to mention that people these days have psychotherapy to turn to in failing relationships. I would venture that we actually are more aware of the dangers of these ideas than ever before, powerful as they still are (and maybe always will be).

Al-x wrote:

I’m saying I can’t really stand it when people reminisce about the old era. It is always with rose colored glasses. Just saying.

I’m deeply disappointed no one pointed out the irony in that statement… way to drop the ball people… =P

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Todd, DavidM

Al-x wrote:

How do you handle a crush you have on someone?

How do I handle it?  Usually sex.

Unless for some reason they don’t want to have sex in which case I obviously never had a crush on them in the first place.

 

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Jon wrote:

Al-x wrote:

I’m saying I can’t really stand it when people reminisce about the old era. It is always with rose colored glasses. Just saying.

I’m deeply disappointed no one pointed out the irony in that statement… way to drop the ball people… =P

Not all heroes wear capes.

If I were to start pointing out irony and fallacies within al-x posts it would quickly open the flood gates of hell. And as much as I would like that kind of posting, I would lose precious time better spent on being depressed.

Cheer up, Anders.

You’re not the only one who’s depressed.

 

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Help

I am being quoted out of context from something I said in April!

I was talking about how some reminisce about the old days, and somehow my statement was ironic.

What gives?

Isn’t it ironic? Don’t you think?

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Christian, Bruce

is it like when your wedding dress gets rain on it?

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Christian

Which would you say is worse: being friend-zoned or being brother-zoned?

“brother-zoned”?  why are you hitting on your sister, Al? maybe you should move south. it is much more accepted down there

Rocket wrote:

maybe you should move south. it is much more accepted down there

Hermano-zoned

Still don’t get it.

JRCarter wrote:

Which would you say is worse: being friend-zoned or being brother-zoned?

Is being brother-zoned like, when you’ve got a bro and you’re always going “Hey, bro, what’s up?!” and being all bro-like but actually you want to fuck him?

When does “friends” become “bromance”? Do you have to do some specific extra stuff to be in a bromance, or is it just that people today have forgotten what “friends” means?

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Rocket

Usually you have to fuck

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Bruce, Christian

Um…you’ve been doing “bromance” wrong, Tim. Unless there’s an Australian variation?

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njerry wrote:

Um…you’ve been doing “bromance” wrong, Tim. Unless there’s an Australian variation?

They’re all fuckers down undah.

njerry wrote:

Um…you’ve been doing “bromance” wrong, Tim.

Maybe it’s everybody else who has been doing it wrong!

DavidM wrote:

When does “friends” become “bromance”? Do you have to do some specific extra stuff to be in a bromance, or is it just that people today have forgotten what “friends” means?

Nah, I think I know what this kind of refers to… there are phases in certain friendships in which it’s almost like falling in love, when two people discover they complete each other and start spending all their time together, like a couple.

(I’ve had that experience, and I’ve also been in a happy bromantic relationship for 25 years now. We keep joking we should celebrate our silver anniversary.)

Christian wrote:

(I’ve had that experience, and I’ve also been in a happy bromantic relationship for 25 years now. We keep joking we should celebrate our silver anniversary.)

I have two bros I’ve been in a long continuous bromances with and it is definitely a real thing. I’ve only fucked (with) one of them and that put temporary strain on the relationship rather than deepen it.

 

DavidM wrote:

Do you have to do some specific extra stuff to be in a bromance

You have to, as the kids say, vibe. Vigorously.

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Christian

I don’t reminisce…. that’s all

Al-x wrote:

I don’t reminisce…. that’s all

I miss the good old times when I used to reminisce and be all about nostalgia. Those were the days…

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garjones, DavidM

Now I get it…

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njerry

Al-x wrote:

Now I get it…

njerry wrote:

Um…you’ve been doing “bromance” wrong,

You’re just jealous of all my bromances on this board

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Todd

I guess bromance is a relationship…

I posted about the name “cougar” for an older woman with a much younger man. I have to say that in some cases, it is about the woman having the upper hand in that relationship, she has the power there… Also another case (not a cougar) where the woman makes more, has more control…

There are generous people who are “givers” in relationships and there are those who take advantage of them called “takers”. Don’t be too generous as no good deed goes unpunished these days. If you realize you are being used by a taker, bail…

I already posted in the news thread about Mary Kay Letourneau who died recently from cancer. It wasn’t an equal relationship…

Al-x wrote:

I posted about the name “cougar” for an older woman with a much younger man. I have to say that in some cases, it is about the woman having the upper hand in that relationship, she has the power there… Also another case (not a cougar) where the woman makes more, has more control…

Do you see the relationships between older men and younger women in the same way, Al?

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Eh, all men are perverts. It’s obviously those dangerous older women that should be our focus in a discussion about power imbalance in couples. They could just as well be preying on us right now for all we know!

Jokes aside. If you’re such a staunch believer of the notion that women are so wildly different from men that they simply can’t be compared much less understood as al-x seems to be you’re bound to conjure up some pretty wild fucking fantasies about what they would do if they had power over men.

Just sayin’.

Anyway… Shifting gears:

My ex called me from out of nowhere at around 0130 this morning. She was drunk as a motherfucker and we chatted away for over an hour and a half. We had some right old laughs alright, touching on topics like Titty Stretching, masturbation preferences, drug dealer lingo, and star wars. Great talk.

Oh shit. I just realized… she’s ten years older than me. Should I be afraid?

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Rocket, Christian, Todd