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The Al-X Relationship Tread
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I want to go outside and see Spring, meet people, talk to them.
Alfred, you know that you are allowed to go outside, don’t you? Assuming you have not tested positive for COVID-19, there is no law or Executive Order forcing you to stay inside 24/7. The best time to go out is early morning while most people are still indoors, so that you come into contact with as few people as possible.
As for meeting people and talking to them: you live in NYC, Al; talking to people you meet outside is never a good idea!!
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Let it all hang out? That’s what I’ve been doing all lockdown given I’ll fitting underwear and the fact I haven’t bothered putting putting trousers on most days.
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Who likes to be cooped up for weeks?
Me! Me! Me!
I’ve stumbled upon an interesting problem as of late. I’m in love with one of my friends, Linnea. She’s in love me too. Great, right? It gets a little more complicated. She’s the partner of my best friend. She’s in love with him too, so there’s no danger to break them up over me or anything.
Even though we’re in love it’s not that kind of love where desire is a main factor, so we manage. We’re mostly just super-duper friendly and constantly eager to get to know each other. But it is complicated at times anyway. I’m constantly worried I’m going to fuck something up between them or for her since I am, you know, a totally unstable junkie kind of guy with zero outlook on life beyond the next hit. Worried might not be the best word. Convinced, more like.
Ah, the futility of life.
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But… this virus thing gets in the way of a social life. Who likes to be cooped up for weeks? It is like being grounded by your parents. Just saying.
Pfff… welcome to my life… I’ve got a good 15 years experience of being cooped up… you’ll be fine for a few weeks… xD
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One thing certainly has become obvious: Being in a relationship is a good thing when a pandemic hits and you have to stay isolated.
I mean, I am sure there are also couples killing each other out there because they have to spend so much time together now… but for most, I think it’s a comfort to not be allone now. I know that my parents would be terribly lonely if they didn’t have each other now, but they do.
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When that happens what do you do?
I don’t think I’ve ever been friendzoned, but I’m rarely romantically interested in someone who isn’t on the same page as me.
I think I would… gain a friend?
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Al always goes full circle on these ones.
There’s no ‘friendzone’, there is what has been in literature for aeons – unrequited love. Going on a date doesn’t require either party to fall for the other on, the whole point is you are trying to see if you’ll get on that way or we may as well have wedding ceremonies during the starters.
There is no solution to unrequited love other than to get over it and move on.
It’s not nice, I’ve been on the painful end of it several times, but it’s your problem and not theirs.
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When you date someone and they then see you as a friend not as a lover.
When that happens what do you do?You defend her against the attack of an army of white walkers, even as they stab you and hack at you and slowly steal your life away from you. And after you die, she will realize what a fool she was for never loving you the way you deserved to be loved. And then her boyfriend/nephew will kill her. So, win-win situation.
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When that happens what do you do?
Just go home and have a wank.
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TMI Bruce…
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Seriously, Al, how many discussions have we had in which scores of people argued that there was no bloody friendzone? You can’t just ignore that!
I think the idea was innocent enough when it came up on Friends, and being in love with someone who just sees you as a friend is an experience enough people had made to instantly relate to the idea. But we’ve all been getting allergic to to notion because the fucking incel crowd has taken it over and it’s become this idea that all these women would want to – nay, be obliged to! – have sex with this guy if only he wasn’t friendzoned.
The whole thing has become annoying. If you like a girl, tell her. If you don’t, you’re not in the friendzone, you’re a fucking chicken.
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Well. Said.
Thanks for speaking up, Christian. You’re 100% right. If we lay this question to rest now, once and for all, maybe we can actually look into getting over Prometheus/MoS?
A thought about the kinds of people you mentioned. How fucked in the head would one have to be see sex as a right, as something you’re entitled to?
I’ve given some thought lately, stemming from conversations with Linnea, to what is considered normal for men when it comes to sex and how I really cant identify with it at all.
It’s as if men have this wildly abnormal relation not only to the act itself but to the mere thought of sex, and an equally abnormal, wholly irresponsible relation to being horny.
Just the fact that there is a widely accepted modern term to describe regaining your sanity as you let go of your desires – a feat that by name can be achieved only by sexual relief (auto or no) – tells me that male sexuality should be treated as an addiction or mental illnes. I was referring of course to “post-nut clarity”.
It seems only natural it’s become the norm though. People who have a genetic disposition to become overcome with hornyness and putting their dick in things will in all likelihood father more children to carry the trait forward.
If only a wank would cost us as much, come with similar prison sentences, the same health risks as heroin… Then maybe people would try treating it for what it is:
Addiction, phase 3.
Rant over. I find myself having a sudden urge to read Valerie Solanas…
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If only a wank would cost us as much
This sounds like a line from an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical.
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Yeah, I’m Dun-Gun Feral the incoherent enraged preacher cat.
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maybe we can actually look into getting over Prometheus/MoS?
BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA
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This is the relationship thread, where we try to keep it devoid of nonsense.
Speak for yourself. I’m all for filling it with nonsense.
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If we’re talking about who is hotter
The sex dungeon master has spoken, he needs obedient slaves for his harem. Meanwhile, I like it when the androids have a personality of their own.
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Your android sex slaves only have a personality when they are plotting to exterminate mankind, is that it?
They? I think you got this all wrong, Christian…
They aren’t doing anythin of the sort. We are.
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…and it was at that moment that Christian finally understood what Anders truly was.
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I love my wife, but I’m infatuated with you, Al-x.
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I won’t tell you guys about … you know … if you both agree to send me a thousand euro a month.
That’s Euro
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I won’t go into a big philosophical posting
In all seriousness, I would like to hear your deep dive on the subject.
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I hear some old timers say something like:
“back in my day we worked out our marriage and didn’t divorce.”
Well, sociologically the world has changed and you would have to wonder
if divorce was more of a viable option at that time…As late as 1972, television audiences were scandalized by the lead character in the Norman Lear comedy Maude, who was a twice-divorced woman currently in her fourth marriage, and whose daughter is also divorced and raising her son as a single mom. Meanwhile, in the real world, I couldn’t understand why my parents didn’t like my friend Tommy whose grandparents lived two doors away from us. Turns out not only was Tommy a Methodist hanging out in a predominantly Irish Catholic neighborhood, but his parents (gasp) were divorced!! Oh, the shame, the horror!!
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Love is pretty hard to define, simplistically it’s just a chemical reaction in our brains that causes a comforting and pleasurable state. I think it’s mostly brought about by behavioral traits of the individual we have that “feeling” for as well as long term familiar comfort. That’s why I love my siblings, cousins, etc, even when they’re being assholes or pissing me off in general.
Romantic love: same as above but you want to bang the person.
Infatuation: A compulsion to feel “Love” from the presence of another. Often placing unrealistic expectations on one’s self and the responses of the other individual.
Keep in mind I don’t have any clinical training in this area of study. However I have smoked quite a bit of high quality cannabis today.
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Love is pretty hard to define
I’d go further and say technically impossible. If that teenager can only think of that girl/boy day and night and wants nobody else then I can’t say that isn’t more ‘love’ than anything else, maybe moreso. You could argue that almost obsessional element is the absolute definition of it.
It may not end up being the most sensible partnership or path in life but is following that ‘love’? Love has never been about practical decisions. Where does the lust and love line divide?
There’s a video going around of a care home worker in England giving a resident a pillow with a photo of his late wife on it, because he was sleeping with a photo of her. Now they were in their 80s or 90s and most probably past any sexual element (maybe not but most likely). He’s devoted to thoughts of her, in a different way. Good luck defining which of those is more ‘love’ than the other.
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Keep in mind I don’t have any clinical training in this area of study. However I have smoked quite a bit of high quality cannabis today.
There’s only one voice I can imagine this being read in.
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I knew this guy in my office who said he was in love with this woman on the other floor. Granted, she was cute had nice curves and he gave an occasional Hello to her in passing in the hallway, but he knew very little about her. I just reasoned that it wasn’t love, the guy just wanted to … you know, but he didn’t realize the difference between love and infatuation.
Do you realise it now?
Sorry, I mean: does he realise it now?
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So what it comes down to, in the end, is that Shakespeare’s tragedy ROMEO AND JULIET was not about star-crossed lovers, but about a couple of infatuated kids. Hmmmm….
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They’re fucking fourteen, what do you expect?
I like the fact that you went out of your way to write this in iambic pentameter.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of star-crossed lovers take their life
Whose misadventured piteous overthrows
Doth with their death bury their parents’ strife
Though they did not foresee what happened next
They’re fucking fourteen, what did you expect?
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Best thing I’ve read in weeks, Dave!
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For all you newbies here who don’t go far back in this thread history, I am not afraid or ashamed to talk about my feelings and shortcomings.
Us oldies that have been with the different iterations of the relationships thread through the years can vouch for this! It’s part of why his name traditionally is in the topic title.
For Al-x, you know me: If you’re unsure whether I’m serious or taking the piss, it’s always the other and not the one.
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If you heard of a couple who wanted to marry at 19 would you say go for it or too young?
If I’m honest I’d be a little concerned they were rushing into things but wouldn’t try and talk anyone out of it. I had a couple of colleagues at work who married their school crushes at that age and they are still happily married at the age of around 50.
I know people who married in their late 30s and 40s and it was a complete disaster.
There’s no science to it.
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As for Romeo and Juliet… If you heard of a couple who wanted to marry at 19 would you say go for it or too young?
I would ask them if they’ve properly examined the tax implications.
Because that’s the only reason to get married, isn’t it?
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I am a bit surprised that two people here whose names I won’t mention haven’t made their way here to this thread… at least not yet anyway.
Just saying.
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I am a bit surprised that two people here whose names I won’t mention haven’t made their way here to this thread
Their using all of the other threads for it anyway. Their bond is to strong for one single topic.
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Years ago, someone called me sugar honey iced tea and I thought she was complimenting me but…
Well….at least she didn’t call you a Fordham University college kid.
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Years ago, someone called me sugar honey iced tea and I thought she was complimenting me but…
Well….at least she didn’t call you a Fordham University college kid.
See you next tuesday.
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In all honesty, what does it take to get someone you like to like you?
In all honesty, it probably doesn’t take anything most of the time.
If you’re being honest with yourself, whether you like someone or not is a decision mostly made very quickly upon meeting them; it is very rare for that to change. I don’t mean in the sense of love at first sight here, but in the sense of hey, this guy/girl is interesting. In the sense of if asked whether you’d ever consider getting together with this stranger, you could answer yes or no after a minute and that won’t change. Trying to “get” someone to like you is a waste of time.
Put all that work into being yourself, as hard as you can be. Then, people will either like you or they won’t. But if you’re acting a certain way just to “get” somebody to like you, the chance of them ever doing that are decreasing massively.
Except if you go for Dave’s chloroform and rope option, obviously. Stockholm syndrome will always be your best friend if you don’t have any others.
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Except if you go for Dave’s chloroform and rope option, obviously.
Hey, that’s Bruce’s method!
Mine involves a chair, straps, eyedrops and a brainwashing video.
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Chloroform, plenty of rope, and a long period of time locked in a basement.
All through that, I couldn’t decide if it would really work or not. Right up to the end, I still thought it might.
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Uh… we are talking about The Collector, aren’t we?
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I remember some woman saying on a show that she didn’t like her
bf because as she said he enjoyed having her as a gf to brag to his friends, but
didn’t like being with her as an equal.It was Meghan Markle, right? RIGHT?!
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Megan Fox split from her husband!
Oh no! Edward Fox always seemed like a really nice guy
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Now Kelly Clarkson is getting a divorce.
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Now Kelly Clarkson is getting a divorce.
It’s Jeremy I feel sorry for.
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Remember, friend Alfred, that this too shall pass.
I’m sure that in June 2024 we’ll look back at this year and laugh… well, most of us will…
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Love in the time of Quarantine…
I wish I can get into my usual alxisms of being a happening kind of guy, Chris Rock, etc. but these days
it is difficult.You are my favourite Al-X of all the Al-Xs.
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In a relationship, does forgiving really mean forgetting?
Not at all. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting, forgiving means giving up resentment.
Sometimes that means the opposite to forgetting, to remember and learning from whatever it was that was forgiven.
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In a manner of speaking, I kind of miss the old guard. A few would contribute to the
thread like Sabrina and argue for womankind. Others like Ohara, Will, Russell, Stephanie
etc… I hope they are all doing well.Shifting gears…
In a relationship, does forgiving really mean forgetting?
I can remember some past slights and remarks, I let them go in that I don’t bring them up
but I don’t forget. Still, it is hard sometimes to put things behind you and move on. If
it hurts too much it should be addressed.Just saying.
I think in many parts of the worlds and professions we’ve become accustomed to burying our malcontent and displeasure.
Generally, I think it is better to deal with these things head on and Miqque would tell us that is the healthier psychological approach.
With slights and remarks, particularly in relationships, you run the risk of exposing yourself as someone who misinterpreted what may have had no callous intent, but it is probably better to have that conversation anyway to ensure both parties are understanding of each other.
Communication is supposedly key.
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