The Al-X Relationship Tread

Topic

[lorcan_nagle]

Discuss relationships, marriage, dating, friend zones and the single life here.

• This topic was modified 4 years ago by lorcan_nagle.
• This topic was modified 4 years ago by lorcan_nagle.

Replies

Oh. This thread survived the change over.

But did Al?

Hopefully he took the opportunity to upgrade again.

[Al-x]

Happening kind of guy

• This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by Al-x.

Fuck. Well maybe the next board upgrade will work.

Al-x wrote:

Happening kind of guy

Hey! Al made it! Had us worried with your lack of being here, fella.

The theory goes that if you help someone you are interested in with a problem (not necessarily coming across as a therapist), he or she will eventually thank you, trust you and confide in you. One thing will lead to another and…

Is this true?

Yes. It is true that one thing will lead to another. That’s how things happen. That’s sort of how time works as well. One thing happens and then another one happens.

What those things are and whether there is any causal connection between those things is a little more uncertain.

Al-x wrote:

The theory goes that if you help someone you are interested in with a problem (not necessarily coming across as a therapist), he or she will eventually thank you, trust you and confide in you. One thing will lead to another and…

Is this true?

I think it’s true that being kind, helpful and nice is a very attractive quality.

If you are just doing it not because you care for them but just to get your leg over it may be a something people see through pretty quickly.

Relationships that are based on a sense of obligation are doomed to failure. As Gar says, be kind and helpful because that is your true nature; don’t do it as a way to get into someone’s pants.

I think that Rule Number 1 in relationships is that there are no rules.

Yeah, I think that viewing social interactions as transactional in that way is doomed to failure if you’re pursuing relationships. That’s not how love and attraction works.

Far better to relax and try and have a good time, rather than keeping a tally of the good things you’ve done for someone and wondering when you’ll have earned enough credit for a date.

njerry wrote:

Relationships that are based on a sense of obligation are doomed to failure. As Gar says, be kind and helpful because that is your true nature; don’t do it as a way to get into someone’s pants.

I think that Rule Number 1 in relationships is that there are no rules.

I thought Rule #1 of relationships is that you don’t talk about relationships.

RonnieM wrote:

I thought Rule #1 of relationships is that you don’t talk about relationships.

You’re thinking of the other kind of relationship, RonnieM. Y’know, like your relationship with Jim.

njerry wrote:

You’re thinking of the other kind of relationship, RonnieM. Y’know, like your relationship with Jim.

No, that one I talk about quite a bit. It helps @JimOhara‘s self esteem when I acknowledge our relationship in public.

Jim never wants to talk about our relationship in public

Anonymous wrote:

Jim never wants to talk about our relationship in public

That’s because Jim’s jealous of all the puppies dreaming about you:

Awwww.

We should get a puppy for the board. That’s in the budget, right?

I need you to increase your Patreon donation to $200

everyone’s always trying to get money off the lawyer. It’s not like lawyers ever ask normal people for money!

Can we just adopt a puppy? (I am totally serious.)

Anonymous wrote:

It’s not like lawyers ever ask normal people for money!

You don’t know any normal people. You live in Australia.

DavidM wrote:

Can we just adopt a puppy? (I am totally serious.)

You may individual adopt a puppy (or puppies if you wish). However, this is a virtual space and not suitable for a puppy. So adopt away. They could use homes and I’m sure you would all find enjoyment in them.

DavidM wrote:

Can we just adopt a puppy? (I am totally serious.)

I need you to increase your Patreon donation to $200.

You can adopt a guide dog puppy for just £3 a week, according to the ads on TV.

[RonnieM]

DavidM wrote:

You can adopt a guide dog puppy for just £3 a week, according to the ads on TV.

That’s £156/year or $197.65/year. Pretty damn close to $200.
.
In fact, it’s probably a steal as by the end of the month the exchange rate will not be as forgiving.

• This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by RonnieM.

njerry wrote:

Relationships that are based on a sense of obligation are doomed to failure.

I agree and yet that doesn’t keep guys from wanting to do favors for women hoping to get paid back in more ways than one, or to say “you owe me”, or hoping that she is the “grateful” type …

Hmmm… I seem to be the only one coming up with these scenarios of relationships. Everyone else wants to talk about puppies….

Say Jim, how grateful is Ronnie? 😂

Al-x wrote:

I agree and yet that doesn’t keep guys from wanting to do favors for women hoping to get paid back in more ways than one, or to say “you owe me”, or hoping that she is the “grateful” type …

Once again, we just call those guys assholes and feeds into exactly what Jerry is saying.

RonnieM wrote:

That’s £156/year or $197.65/year. Pretty damn close to $200.

See? I didn’t just grab that number out of my arse!

Don’t get me wrong Ronnie…

I said I agreed with jerry

Hmmm… you guys give credit to Todd for this thread

We’re forever thankful to Todd for coming up with the Relationship Thread, he’s a hero to us all.

garjones wrote:

We’re forever thankful to Todd for coming up with the Relationship Thread, he’s a hero to us all.

I’m not giving you $200 for a puppy, Gar.

No, you are giving me $200 for Tim’s puppy.

Then who’s giving $200 for David’s puppy?

Al-x wrote:

Don’t get me wrong Ronnie…

I said I agreed with jerry

Hmmm… you guys give credit to Todd for this thread

You’re begging the question too much, Al. I could say some guys like to strangle people to death. That’s not a valid or healthy viewpoint and belaboring it doesn’t add any value.
.
Nobody gave credit to Todd. He started the thread. That doesn’t give him any control of it. It just means he was the first person make a post in the Relationship Thread. Just like you could start your Lyrical Snippets thread.

Ok then

Cool

Now this puppy you guys speak of…

garjones wrote:

No, you are giving me $200 for Tim’s puppy.

Um…is that a euphemism?

Simon Jones wrote:

garjones wrote:

No, you are giving me $200 for Tim’s puppy.

Um…is that a euphemism?

It can be two things!

So this thread is just about Tim and puppies?

Keravin wrote:

So this thread is just about Tim and puppies?

Some things never change.

I’m going to be fuming if my Patreon donations end up paying for puppies.

Can we put mine towards a cat?

Dave wrote:

I’m going to be fuming if my Patreon donations end up paying for puppies.

Can we put mine towards a cat?

Get the hell out of here.

Dave wrote:

I’m going to be fuming if my Patreon donations end up paying for puppies.

Can we put mine towards a cat?

If this isn’t a bannable offence i dont know what is

(Just for the record, one of those vote ups is me)

Cats are just better. I ended with one of mine because the dog it lived with just couldn’t handle him.

The only cats I tolerate are DJLapage’s.

Those cats are awesome

I’ve only ever had one dog, whereas I’ve had at least 6 cats.

I prefer dogs.

For the record, I think cats are better than puppies.
.
But you can’t adopt cats. They have to adopt you.

DavidM wrote:

This reply has been reported for inappropriate content.

And I think we know by who.

There is love at first sight like two people hitting it off well on a first encounter. Then there are those who you aren’t really into at first but after a while they grow on you as it were and you develop a crush in some cases.

Happens at the workplace sometimes to the point that companies have policies about it.

Just saying

Al-x wrote:

There is love at first sight like two people hitting it off well on a first encounter.

That thing you feel at a first encounter is not love. It may be attraction, or interest, or lust; but it is not love. Love requires an emotional investment, which does not occur in a moment or an hour.

Except my love for Jessica Alba. That was truly “love at first sight”, and it has not waned all these years later.

Dating shape

Yeah, I’m going to come straight out and say that I never had a body like that when I was single.

[Christian]

I would say nobody outside of Marvel movies has a body like that, but since I’ve been going climbing/bouldering, I’ve had to revise that opinion. There are a lot of absurdly well-trained bodies there, every inch covered with tattoos, climbing impossible surfaces.

• This reply was modified 5 years, 1 month ago by Christian.
• This reply was modified 5 years, 1 month ago by Christian.

Christian wrote:

I would say nobody outside of Marvel movies has a body like that,

Ya. The DCEU ones are much more jacked. 😉

Ye Dude doth abide.

I remember once I had a heart to heart talk with someone shortly before the end. I admit now that I should have listened more instead of waiting to talk.

Sometimes just listening is the best thing even if you are in the right. Take the loss if it is for the best.

I know that now…

It has been a while…
I guess we haven’t had any news on Chris Rock’s divorce lately

It’s about time he married and divorced again by now.

How do you guys feel about a big age difference in a relationship?

How big we talking?

There was 225 years between Buffy and Angel and that worked out just fine.
.
No. Wait. She killed him and then hooked up with his hated enemy.
.
Well, ok, 225 years is clearly too much of a difference.

Here you go, Al:

May December Society

This is a great source of advice Al.

Trying to bring back this thread.
Usually I say some philosophy here and others debate and argue with me
Only to lose.

More philosophy coming soon…

Al-x wrote:

Usually I say some philosophy here and others debate and argue with me
Only to lose.

Double post

Al-x wrote:

Trying to bring back this thread.

I like your dedication in reviving a thread when the last post was 50 minutes before yours.

I’m not saying that this thread is the reason why Chris Rock’s wife divorced him; but their marriage was pretty solid before this thread was born.
.
Food for thought…

njerry wrote:

Chris Rock’s wife divorced him

What the fuck? You could have broken this news more gently.

Time out for philosophy…😀

Sometimes being single for a time can be good to think about what you want, your interests, to personally regroup etc. then you can be better prepared when finding someone new.

Better to be prepared than not ready. Just saying…

Dave wrote:

njerry wrote:

Chris Rock’s wife divorced him

What the fuck? You could have broken this news more gently.

But did Chris Rock see the movie Birdman? That’s what we REALLY want to know!

njerry wrote:

I’m not saying that this thread is the reason why Chris Rock’s wife divorced him; but their marriage was pretty solid

Is there some convenient metaphor we could use for describing exactly how solid it was?

Never underestimate the “coolness”
Of this thread…

It’s definitely a happening kind of thread.

We had postings here about starting relationships but it would be interesting to hear about advancing a relationship, making it last for more than a year, about growing together as the years go on instead of growing apart…

Thanks for reviving the thread Al.

Al-x wrote:

We had postings here about starting relationships but it would be interesting to hear about advancing a relationship, making it last for more than a year, about growing together as the years go on instead of growing apart…

The first twenty years or so of our marriage was about raising our kids, sending them off to college, paying off our mortgage, etc. The last 13 years have been primarily about each other, finding things we like to do together (running, hiking, traveling) and doing it.
.
That’s just one way of going…

The first six years of my marriage were about falling in love, doing everything together and getting a kid. The next six years were about figuring out why things were going wrong and coming to terms with the fact that we had to split up and deal with that, and what it meant when a kid’s involved.
—
I’ve been in another relationship for about five years now. It’s been quite a different experience, but I do think that we’re growing together where my previous experience was one of (in some ways) growing apart.

My mistakes in the past were insisting on being in the right all the time. Sometimes you have to just concede and take the loss for the greater good. Also saying things I regret later on thinking that an apology will erase it all. This is especially so when the partner is sensitive and believe me, the partner will remember the snarky remark even after the apology.

Now I learned at least that much and still have more to learn. I guess we all do…

Just saying.

That fish in the second line, second one from the left?

I dated her.  It was a rough time in my life.

Al-x wrote:

My mistakes in the past were insisting on being in the right all the time. Sometimes you have to just concede and take the loss for the greater good.

Also, maybe there were times when you just weren’t right, you know?

True I wasn’t right at the time…or mature.

The things I wish I could tell my younger self now if there was a portal.

Al-x wrote:

True I wasn’t right at the time…or mature.

The things I wish I could tell my younger self now if there was a portal.

Be careful with those portals…

The politics thread is already on page 5, and we’re still puttering about on page 1. Time to step it up here, people!!

It’s not our fault if there have been no noteworthy divorces recently

Needs a female perspective

It was nice when women like Stephanie and Sabrina were here even though they would argue with me.

All in all a LOT has been covered over the years and previous incarnations of the thread. Don’t know what else to say…

So anyways Al, how you doing? Any news on the relationship front? Or are you still waiting to get into dating shape? No, but for real tho…

I am doing well all things considered. Thanks for asking. I am taking care of things of a personal nature at present, yet I still keep an eye around for relationship opportunities. As for dating shape, I lost 10 lbs. and hope for more as things go on. I have found a routine I like.

As for dating shape, I still maintain that you have to meet others at least half way by putting your best effort forward. I said before that if the general consensus of family, close friends, and the mirror say you would look better if you lost some weight and groomed a little more, then you should do that if you expect to meet someone. Sorry for that long sentence but I digress… Just as for example, you don’t dress any which way for a job interview, neither should you on a date or some venue to meet people.

I guess that al-xism dating shape stuck with everyone, like happening kind of guy, thought provoking, etc…

Al-x wrote:

As for dating shape, I lost 10 lbs. and hope for more as things go on. I have found a routine I like.

Well done Al! Nice one.

All these years I used the word thirsty innocently to mean a person wants to drink water.

Now with relationships and social media these days, it means something else…

Does it? What?

It’s the number after twenty-nine.

Depends on who you ask…

Bruce wrote:

Does it? What?

Stop being thirsty

Al-x wrote:

All these years I used the word thirsty innocently to mean a person wants to drink water.

Now with relationships and social media these days, it means something else…

I’m still so confused about this. I’m having fun imagining the situations and misunderstandings @al-x has gotten into as a result though.

Bruce wrote:

I’m still so confused about this.

It’s the day between Wednesday and Friday.