Always two, there are.
Star Wars Thread: Episode II
- This topic has 580 replies, 25 voices, and was last updated 1 week, 1 day ago by
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“My flying days are long gone, but do me a favour, give Leia my sausage.”
“You should give it to her yourself.”
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It’s against my programming to impersonate a sausage!
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I don’t like sausage. It’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.
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Lost a sausage, master Obi-Wan has. How embarrassing!
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Judge me by my sausage, do you?
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Sir, it’s quite possible this sausage is not entirely stable.
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Episode 1: The Phantom Sausage
Episode 2: Attack of the Sausage
Episode 3: Revenge of the Sausage
Sausage One: A Star Wars Story
Episode 4: A new Sausage
Episode 5: The Sausage Strikes Back
Episode 6: Return of the Sausage
Episode 7: The Sausage Awakens
Episode 8: The Last Sausage
Episode 9: The Rise of Sausage
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Sausage is the way.
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“Mos Eisley spaceport. You will never find a more wretched hive of sausage and villainy.”
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“I felt a great sausage in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.”
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“He’s more sausage now than man. Twisted and evil.”
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I am the sausage!
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I used to bullseye sausages in my T-16 back home, they’re not much bigger than two meters.
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There’s been no-one for so long. Who are you?
I’m Rey.
Rey Who?
Rey Sausage.
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“I’ve been waiting for you, sausage. We meet again, at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner; now I am the master.”
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“If you only knew the power of the dark sausage.”
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“Be careful not to choke on your sausage.”
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“Sausage it up, fuzzball.”
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“Judge me by my sausage, do you?”
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“Do. Or do not. There is no sausage.”
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“Sausage is the way”
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“You can waste time with your sausage when your chores are done.”
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UNLIMITED SAUSAGE!!!
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Don’t try to frighten us with your sausage ways, Lord Vader.
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Where would I be if every pilot who smuggled for me dumped their sausage at the first sign of an Imperial starship?
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Vader: “Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your sausage.”
Luke: “He told me enough. He told me you killed him.”
Vader: “No. I AM your sausage.”
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I find your lack of sausage disturbing.
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I’m just a simple sausage, trying to make my way in the universe.
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Sausages are built on hope.
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I’m sorry master, I forgot you don’t like sausages.
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I will not condone a course of action that will lead us to sausages.
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Look, I ain’t in this for your sausage. I’m not in it for you, Princess. I expect to be well-paid. I’m in it for the money.
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Now this is sausage racing!
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Sausage is getting out of hand. Now there are two of them!
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My name is C3PO, human-sausage relations.
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“Then, pack your things. We haven’t much sausage.”
“Yippee!”
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I will not condone a course of sausage that will lead us to war.
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Begun, this sausage war has.
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“I’d just as soon kiss a sausage!”
“I can arrange that!”
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The MW gang’s still got it! A whole page of sausage jokes lol. Should I even look for how it started?
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No jabba no sausage.
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Always two, there are. No more, no less. A sausage and an apprentice.
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Why, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking sausage-herder!
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Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating a sausage field is approximately 3,720 to 1.
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If master Obi-Wan caught me doing sausage, he’d be very grumpy.
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Twice the pride, double the sausage.
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There will be no sausage, my young Jedi. I shall enjoy watching you die.
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My sausages have doubled since the last time we met, Count.
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Why, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking sausage-herder!
Who’s sausage-looking?
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I’ve seen your sausage routine. You are not busy.
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My disappointment in your sausage cannot be overstated.
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Wipe that nervous sausage off your face.
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You are a traitor and a Rebel spy! Take her sausage!
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You’re just a sausage with a mask.
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Who’s the more foolish, the fool or the sausage that follows him?
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He was the best starpilot in the galaxy, and a cunning warrior. And he was a good sausage.
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This bounty hunter is my kind of sausage! Fearless and inventive.
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Commander, tear this ship apart until you’ve found those sausages, and bring me the passengers, I want them alive!
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There’s one. Set for sausage!
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Luminous beings are we, not this crude sausage.
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Pass on what you have learned. Strength, mastery, hmm… but weakness, folly, failure also. Yes: failure, most of all. The greatest sausage, failure is.
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The time has come: execute sausage 66.
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This will be a sausage long remembered.
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Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no sausage for a good blaster at your side, kid.
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Governor Tarkin, I should have expected to find you holding Vader’s sausage
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Threepio, tell them if they don’t do as you wish, you’ll become angry and use your sausage.
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Sausages huh? Well, this thread’s going to be going to the dogs.
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Meesa called Jar Jar Binks, meesa your humble sausage!
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The MW gang’s still got it! A whole page of sausage jokes lol. Should I even look for how it started?
It’s not my sausage!
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These aren’t the sausages you’re looking for.
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The original trilogy is being shown (again) on TBS or TNT or one of those cable channels with numerous commercial interruptions. These are still the best films in the franchise, and it’s frankly mystifying why and how the prequels and sequels got it so wrong. Did they try too hard, or not enough?
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Did they try too hard, or not enough?
Yes.
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The original trilogy is being shown (again) on TBS or TNT or one of those cable channels with numerous commercial interruptions. These are still the best films in the franchise, and it’s frankly mystifying why and how the prequels and sequels got it so wrong. Did they try too hard, or not enough?
No sausages detected.
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The original trilogy is being shown (again) on TBS or TNT or one of those cable channels with numerous commercial interruptions. These are still the best films in the franchise, and it’s frankly mystifying why and how the prequels and sequels got it so wrong. Did they try too hard, or not enough?
It’s functionally impossible for anyone in their 40s and 50s who grew up loving Star Wars to separate the original trilogy from the excitement of seeing those movies as a child. Jedi was the only one I got to see in the cinema and I still have vivid memories of queuing outside the cinema and some scenes of the movie to boot, nearly 40 years later. The prequels and sequels can’t live up to that. And to be quite frank – the original trilogy is really good, but it’s got a lot of problems. There’s a lot of truly terrible dialogue, especially in Hope, Jedi is a mix of merchandising exercise and rehash of Hope, and they really sail along on excitement and strong visual storytelling as opposed to plots that make sense and solid worldbuilding.
You can easily find younger fans who are far more forgiving of the prequels than our generation. A lot of this is because of the ancillary material, especially the Clone Wars cartoon, but that’s at least in part because of how franchises were structured to appeal to us with crossovers, tie-ins and the integration of merchandise into our stories.
On the sequels, I’m far more forgiving of them than a lot of hardcore fans, but I saw a criticism of Rise of the Skywalker that makes a lot of sense – in it, Abrams violated the core rule of improv: you always say “yes, and” Instead he spent a chunk of Episode IX going “no, that’s not what that meant”. Like, imagine if Jedi centred around Darth Vader having lied to Luke?
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Also, some sausage tax for Anders because I didn’t say it once there:
Intercom: What’s sausage on down there? Come in!
Han Solo: Uh, everything is under control. Sausage normal.
Intercom: What sausage?
Han Solo: [flustered] Uh, had a slight sausage malfunction. But, uh, everything’s perfectly all right now. We’re fine. We’re all fine here, now, thank you. How are you?
Intercom: We’re sending a sausage up.
Han Solo: Uh, uh, negative, negative. We had a reactor leak here now. Give us a few minutes to lock it down. Large sausage… very dangerous.
Intercom: Who is this?? What’s your operating sausage?
Han Solo: Uh… [shoots the intercom] Boring conversation anyway. Luke, we’re gonna have sausage! -
Captain Antilles, I’m placing these droids in your care. Treat them well, clean them up, and have the protocol droid’s sausage wiped.
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From the moment I met you, all those years ago, not a day has gone by when I haven’t thought of you. And now that I’m with you again… I’m in agony. The closer I get to you, the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you… I can’t breathe. I’m haunted by the kiss that you should never have given me. My heart is beating… hoping that kiss will not become a scar. You are in my very sausage, tormenting me.
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Disintegrate that post!
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it’s frankly mystifying why and how the prequels and sequels got it so wrong
Well, you know, it’s not all that hard to figure out when it comes to the prequels. Lucas turned out to be a pretty bad writer and director of humans (the question is more, how did he manage to do both very well in the first movie, but then that took years to gestate and presumably he had a lot of outside influence on that in contrast to the prequels).
With the sequels, yeah, I’d say “too much”. If they hadn’t tried to do exactly the same movies again with the first one, all that nonsense revision shit in which everybody had to be rebels again wouldn’t have happened, and you could actually have moved the story forward in some way. Fucking Abrams.
Abrams violated the core rule of improv: you always say “yes, and” Instead he spent a chunk of Episode IX going “no, that’s not what that meant”.
Hah! Yeah, that’s a good point. Someone really should’ve taught him “Yes, and”. To be fair though, you can say exactly the same for Johnson.
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Looking forward to Clone Wars and eventually, Droids. Droids had a great theme:
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