Quotes; also featuring lyrics, sayings and catchphrases

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Career change: Being in your 30s and not wanting to work in the for which you prepared is like realizing you built your entire skill tree wrong in an RPG

In video game boss fights, they see you as a serial killer

The entire purpose of a bayonet is to bring a knife to a gunfight

The animal actors in theme parks are just paid furries

They just need to put all the dating apps on one app and just call it “What’s left”

[Al-x]

After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing after all as wanting. It is not logical but it is often true

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Some people stand in the darkness

Afraid to step into the light

• This reply was modified 8 months ago by Al-x.

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Todd

Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it.

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Tonight, the music seems so loud
I wish that we could lose this crowd
Maybe it’s better this way
We’d hurt each other with the things we want to say
We could have been so good together
We could have lived this dance forever
But now, who’s gonna dance with me?

Don’t look for it Taylor… You may not like what you find!

What will he find out there Doctor?

His destiny

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And on most nights when you are bored and so full on ennui
You cannot even summon the enthusiasm necessary to masturbate

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Todd

Al-x wrote:

Don’t look for it Taylor… You may not like what you find!

What will he find out there Doctor?

His destiny

Planet of the Apes!!

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Al-x

[Al-x]

I am the last of the famous international playboys

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I would go out tonight,

but I haven’t got a stitch to wear

• This reply was modified 6 months, 2 weeks ago by Al-x.

[Al-x]

All is quiet… on New Year’s Day

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In the realm of mediocrity, genius is dangerous

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Your cynicism is not a sign of your intellect

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It is better to die on your feet Than to live on your knees

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A goldfish doesn’t know it is in a fishbowl

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Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear

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• This reply was modified 6 months, 1 week ago by Al-x.

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Todd

[Al-x]

Each man must start with himself and within himself by slowly forging his Chi: The bond between the finite and the infinite, the inner essence of his spirit and the limitless power of the universe. Only then can you conquer the power and the presence of evil.

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You’re traveling through another dimension — a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That’s a signpost up ahead: your next stop: the Twilight Zone!

You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension: a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You’re moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You’ve just crossed over into… the Twilight Zone.

There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call “The Twilight Zone”.

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The English author, George Bernhard Shaw, once had a fine lady at his table.
“Would they sleep with a man for £20,000,” asked the old man – and that was a lot of money back then.
The lady giggled, “It really depends on what he looks like.”
“Would they do it for twenty pounds?,” continued the old man.
Then she got angry: “What do they think I am?!”.
“We have settled that question,” said Bernhard Shaw “Now we are just discussing the price.”

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Now you’re not naive enough to think we’re living in a democracy, are you buddy?

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Don’t be so humble. You’re not that good

• This reply was modified 5 months ago by Al-x.
• This reply was modified 5 months ago by Al-x.
• This reply was modified 4 months, 3 weeks ago by Al-x.

When reactions turn into hurricanes
And the middle course seems a little tame
Whether full or empty it’s all the same
It’s so easy to see, everyone can agree, you’re not to blame

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Todd

Simply… Steven Wright

I was walking down the street and the prescription in my glasses ran out.
I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly
I have the world’s oldest globe. It’s flat.
You know, if heat rises, then heaven might be hotter than hell.
I finally got around to reading the dictionary. Turns out the zebra did it.

“You know when you’re sitting on a chair and you lean back so you’re just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time…”
― Steven Wright

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street.

“He was a multi-millionaire… Wanna know how he made all of his money? … He designed the little diagrams that tell which way to put batteries in…”
“When I was little, my grandfather used to make me stand in a closet for 5 minutes without moving. He said it was elevator practice.”
When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

Went into a diner, the sign said ‘breakfast any time,’ so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.

1 – I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2 – Borrow money from pessimists — they don’t expect it back.
3 – Half the people you know are below average.
4 – 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5 – 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6 – A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7 – A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8 – If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.
9 – All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
10 – The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11 – I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ….. But she left me before we met.
12 – OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
13 – How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
14 – If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15 – Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16 – When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
17 – Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18 – Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
19 – I intend to live forever … So far, so good.
20 – If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
21 – Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
22 – What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23 – My mechanic told me, “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
24 – Why do psychics have to ask you for your name
25 – If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26 – A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
27 – Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
28 – The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
29 – To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30 – The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31 – The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.
32 – The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
33 – Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don’t have film.
34 – If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
35 – If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work

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Todd

You read the Bible, Brett? There’s a passage I have memorized. Sort of fits the occasion:

Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man
That he didn’t didn’t already have

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